Sexy Parodius is a bit sketchy, yes. But, it’s easily the most-fun shmup I’ve ever played. The music is fantastic, too. I’ve managed to 1cc the game, but I’ve never beaten the bonus stage which is just so ridiculously difficult, I question whether it’s even possible without a very specific strategy or something.

Unfortunately, the best version is the arcade one, and MAME doesn’t do the best job with it. Still playable, though.

Fantastic food. Entirely too rapey.

Pop quiz: four of the top five most anticipated games are Doom, Gears of War, Perfect Dark, and Assassin’s Creed: what year is it?

My older sister was supposed to get my name, but she was a she. It would have been fairly unique at her age. I came along five years later and got it at the height of its popularity, as a result there were three of us in my grade six class.

Getting Cicret Bracelet vibes from this one.

Nope. And I remember a time when there weren’t any ads. Or images for that matter. And I had to run software in DOS. Things are definitely both better and worse, now.

My hometown was in Canada’s top-ten communities in decline for years. These days, it’s got two-thirds the population it used to, the streets are full of deer, and quite a few farmers’ fields have turned into forests. Almost everyone my age that I knew moved away long ago. Going back is always shocking.

I’m (well, I like to think I’m) a very stable person, and it freaked me right out.

None! I live in Korea, and the local wildlife was long ago mostly displaced or eaten by the seething mass of humanity. Once upon a time, there were some cool bears and tigers even. There are some nice, big herons still around I suppose. Oh, some tiny deer, too.

Yeah, I didn’t say I trust them to do it right, just that it could be done tastefully.

Good thing I haven’t bought a game from a big name studio since, uhh, does Elden Ring count?

Anyone remember the early Windows 10 update that booted back up with a black screen that said “Don’t Panic”?

That was the most panic inducing moment I’ve ever had with any PC.

If they’d just be smart about it. Make the ads in-game. Like a Nike poster on a wall or a can of Pepsi on a table or something. I wouldn’t have a problem with that. Making them the entire focus - however brief - just makes me hate them immeasurably.

If I made 3 cents a stream, I’d have a quarter of a million…

Not sure I’d use one of the most iconic sexy lead singers in history as an example. No matter much how much he looks like shit now.

Yep.

Another one of my most popular tracks is an atonal hour-and-twenty-minutes of cubic spline curves, granular synthesis, and other assorted noises I programmed in Csound.

I’m in a similar boat, but I never feel fully satisfied to release a song (probably cuz I am a hobbyist and I suck lol).

There’s never a better time to put yourself out there! I resisted it for twenty years. My most “successful” release is one of my least polished tracks. I recorded it just out of university on a Pentium with a stolen microphone, pirated software, a freebie guitar, and a ZOOM 505. It’s got 4 million listens and is responsible for half my income. By comparison, I’ve released stuff that I think sounds like it was professionally recorded in a studio that no one listens to.

I release everything as “Underwaterbob” - my username. You can find me just about everywhere. If you don’t have a subscription, it’s all on YouTube, too: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQ_MZ9yX0STsY1l2Ml2zBFw

I make a wide variety of music.

It’s not really just Spotify. I’m a hobbyist music producer. I uploaded my entire catalog through Distrokid about two years ago. Distrokid serves just about every streaming service. It costs $20 a year for the most basic package. I’ve got ~8 million listens according to Distrokid, and that nets me about $40 US. So, I made my money back. Not bad for 20 years of work. Haha!

I don’t really care about the numbers, like I said, I’m a hobbyist. I make music because I enjoy making music. It would never be my career unless I dropped everything and struck out touring trying to make it in an industry that traditionally chews up and spits out hopefuls. I’m not exactly the age or attractiveness that most people expect in a touring musician, either.

That’s fair. You can get a closer shave with more passes, but that’s hard on your skin as well. I can’t stand having too much stubble. It gets to a point where it itches like crazy. I pushed through the itchy phase once, and having a beard was alright, but I got some pretty crazy acne underneath it.