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  • 101 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 21st, 2023

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  • Start with praise and honest opinion.

    So which is it?

    Seriously though, I hate it when people throw in some praise completely unrelated to the thing we are talking about at the moment in an attempt to soften the criticism. It just seems really transparent and fake to me. Praise people for things when they are doing them, not as sugarcoating for your criticism. That just devalues the praise and your criticism. But maybe that’s just my stereotypical German directness.




  • What happens to people who rent out an apartment in the house they are living in? This is not uncommon, where I live. Grandma lives in a small separate apartment in the house, she dies, the apartment is rented out. Sometimes a child moves in later or the parents move in and a child takes over the house.
    If these people risk losing a part of the house by letting someone else rent it, my guess is that they would just stop renting it in order to be able to leave the whole house to their children. Which would leave even less homes on the renting market and a bigger share to big corporations.







  • You’re doing neither yourself nor anyone else a favour by being overly shy and reticent. You yourself will enjoy life much more when you are yourself and while not everyone will like you, the ones who don’t often don’t stay in your life long and it’s easier to find people you vibe with if they can see you for who you are.

    Granted, I very much did not take this advice as a teenager and even now I’m occasionally too shy. But looking back it was good advice and I really wish I hadn’t wasted so much time and energy on not being negatively noticed by people I didn’t really care about then and who haven’t been in my life for years.






  • Think about it like this: There is an almost endless amount of stuff around us at any given moment that we could be aware of. If we factor in the things that are not actually there but we can still think about, then there are infinitely many things we could be paying attention to at any moment.

    But we only have a finite amount of energy to do it. The more energy we use to think about one thing the less energy remains to think about everything else.

    I wouldn’t say that we are ignoring things when we concentrate. Because to me when you ignore something you are actually aware of it but choose to ignore it. When you concentrate, you just don’t have enough energy left to be aware of other things.


  • I used to have this problem, too. Both when trying to fall asleep in the evening and after waking up in the middle of the night for any reason.

    What really helps me is putting on an audiobook or podcast that I like but already know (this part is important because otherwise I will just listen to it for the rest of the night because I want to know what happens) and setting the volume to very low. I set the sleep timer to 15 minutes and most of the time I’m asleep way before it turns off.

    I had to experiment a bit to find audiobooks that hit the sweet spot of being engaging enough to keep my mind from wandering but not so much that I can’t drift of to sleep but once I found a few, it’s been a real game changer.