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Cake day: February 25th, 2024

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  • Sci fi set in contemporary times on Earth. A spaceship from another dimension accidentally enters a freak wormhole and gets dumped off in our universe. Only a single human survived on the ship, augmented by some super fancy AI (that actually works reliably unlike what we have access to nowadays). Captain isn’t able to maintain orbit but is able to land out in the middle of the south Pacific. Captain & AI have no way to return to their home universe or even send a message.

    Ship contains a lot of advanced technology. Captain knows the theory of it all but doesn’t know the details. Ship’s AI has schematics for everything on board but not for everything in the civilization they left - only the most commonly used parts.

    Ship contains a perfectly efficient recycler and replicator, but it’s limited by speed and by internal volume of the replicator.

    Ship has a medbay capable of treating any known disease or injury, but there are only four pods (normal crew size only needs four), and treating something severe like a heart attack or cancer requires a full week non-stop.

    Ship isn’t designed for combat or passenger service, but is instead a giant mining ship equipped with tractor beams to facilitate harvesting ore in space. It’s about the size of a giant ore carrier from Earth, and does have some rudimentary point defense weapons to defend against space pirates.

    Ship has some problems that make it temporarily not-spaceworthy, and may or may not be able to find all the raw materials it needs to repair itself for more spaceflight. It is however perfectly capable of atmospheric flight operations.

    How does the captain interact with us? Is the ship able to find enough stuff to repair itself? Does the captain decide to trade favors for supplies that can’t be synthesized? Or does the captain spiral into a pit of despair at being irrevocably separated from their home?

    In case you’re wondering, yes I do as a matter of fact enjoy tech uplift stories.








  • Same. Keeping the details purposefully vague even though the statute of limitations has long since expired.

    I was out with friends having fun and actually stayed at the bar until they turned on the lights at closing and kicked us all out. I knew I was drunk but figured I should hit up the Taco Bell on the other side of the parking lot and eat in my car. Surely that would soak up enough alcohol to sober me up, right? I recall taking the most direct route possible to get back home, keeping my speed just below the limit. No cruise control so I had to focus as much as possible when it’s late, you’re tired and drunk and have a stomach full of grease.

    The middle portion of the drive home was on a single long major arterial surface street. Luckily there weren’t any red lights since I doubt I could’ve stopped in time. The most terrifying moment was when I saw a cop car approaching me from behind. As I had a mild panic attack, he passed me up, didn’t turn on his lights, and went about his evening.

    The rest of the trip home was uneventful. I got home safely, swore to myself I’d never be that stupid again, went to bed, and woke up the next morning probably still reeking of cigarette smoke and booze.

    This is the single thing I am most ashamed of that I’ve ever done in my entire life. It’s more shameful than the time I lost my cool and shouted the n word at a kid when we were in middle school. It’s more shameful than the time I walked around high school with an unknown to me giant rip in my pants that let everyone see my sponge bob undies. It’s more shameful than when my dad caught me beating my meat to a Runner’s World magazine because I couldn’t find a Playboy.

    I am very lucky that the cop just passed me by. I am very lucky that I didn’t have to drunk call my family at 4am to come bail me out of jail. I am very very lucky that I didn’t hurt myself or someone else.

    True to my word, I’ve never done it again. I don’t drink at all any more, and even when I still did, I had a very strict two drink limit for myself if I was driving.

    I don’t think I’ve ever even mentioned this when I’ve been in therapy. I’ve been in a relationship for over a decade and I’ve never even told my partner about it.

    So yeah Lemmy. Learn from my mistake. Please. If you plan to get fucked up, have a safe ride home that doesn’t involve you driving.







  • Dating apps are at best a crapshoot. They’re more interested in prying money out of you than anything else.

    Like others have said, doing things you enjoy is a good way to meet people who enjoy the same things. Maybe you won’t meet your next bf/gf/etc directly, but perhaps someone you’ll meet has a cute single friend.

    Being in a positive and healthy relationship is better than being single, but single-hood is better than being in an unhealthy and dysfunctional relationship.

    Dating seems a bit like working on your mental health, in that both imply working on self-improvement (which ultimately should be done for intrinsic reasons, not just because it may get you laid).

    Like the quote from the Bojack season 2 finale: “It gets easier. Every day it gets a little easier. But you gotta do it every day. That’s the hard part. But it does get easier.”





  • When I was in middle school, like a lot of us I was an idiot who had no social skills and no skill in emotional self-regulation.

    One day, between classes as I walked from one classroom building to the next, I had a sucker in my hand. I don’t remember what kind (this was in the early 90s) but it was big, sweet, and on a stick.

    A classmate (black) came up behind me (white), smacked the sucker out of my hand onto the ground, and laughed as he jogged onto the next building. I shouted “you fucking n-word!” at him except I used the actual hard r slur and not the circumlocution.

    Neither of us got in any trouble that I can remember. No teachers, staff, or snitches were nearby.

    Middle aged me has a much larger and more creative vocabulary and would have never needed to stoop so low as to use racial slurs. Also, middle aged me wouldn’t eat suckers any more because of health concerns. I’m assuming the classmate involved has similarly grown and matured and no longer smacks candy out of peoples hands for fun.