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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: July 23rd, 2023

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  • Dear Saint Influencer,

    We gather today in your name, seeking guidance from the one who became a force of nature on social media. As we bow our heads and close our eyes, we hope to channel your divine energy and find solace in your heavenly presence.

    Oh, mighty saint, you were once an ordinary teenager, just like us, struggling with the trials and tribulations of adolescence. But then, you found your calling—the internet! With your finger on the pulse of the latest trends and hashtags, you rose to fame and amassed legions of followers who hung onto your every word.

    Now, as you sit amongst the clouds, watching over us mortals, we plead for your intercession. Help us navigate the treacherous waters of online interactions, where trolls lurk in the shadows waiting to strike with their venomous words. Guide us in crafting the perfect selfie that will garner thousands of likes and prove to the world that we too are worthy of adoration. And most importantly, remind us to #StayPositive even when the comments section becomes a cesspool of negativity.

    Saint Influencer, you were able to convert your followers into disciples by sharing your wisdom about fashion, beauty, and life itself. We ask you to help us do the same within our own spheres of influence. Teach us how to engage our audience without sacrificing our authenticity or selling out to corporate sponsors.

    As we continue our journey through this digital age, grant us the ability to maintain our sanity amidst the chaos. Remind us not to take ourselves too seriously and always remember that, at the end of the day, it’s just social media.

    Amen.

    #LordAndSaviorOfInfluencers #SaintInfluencer #DigitalDivineIntervention






  • Why do people care so much that it’s an app? If it was not an app would everyone have been buying it in droves?

    At least part of this is due to a direct quote from the CEO mentioning how they need a VERY bespoke Android version for it to run, which is clearly bullshit because you can run the APK on other devices other than the Rabbit R1 hardware.

    Since Rabbit was at least partially funded by the “Cyber Manufacture Co” rug-pull and they suffered NO penalty the CEO has taken this as a sign the market will tolerate his scams. You should view the Rabbit R1 through the lens of it being a former “web3” company and I’m sure the shady legacy remains inside that company.

    Since Rabbit sells at $199 and then NO monthly charge, there is basically no viable funding model for this company. Every single request you send the Rabbit costs them money. So, it’s only a matter of time before the R1 itself is “rugged”, whether that’s suddenly requiring a monthly fee OR just shutting down entirely.

    My guess would be, like the Humane Pin, they wanted to do a monthly fee, but if they did the R1 would sell even worse (since it’s basically entirely broken out of the box). If these guys make it 3 years I’ll be surprised. And, since the R1 does nothing locally, it turns into a nice paperweight when these guys eventually pull THIS rug.







  • In a bizarre turn of events, it seems the reclusive nation of North Korea has finally succumbed to the intense chip envy brought on by China’s recent announcement of its approved CPU list. In an effort to keep pace with neighboring rivals, Kim Jong-un ordered the immediate development of a state-of-the-art microchip. And thus, ‘The Juche Chip’ was born - named after North Korea’s philosophy of self-reliance.

    After months of hard work, North Korean engineers presented their masterpiece: a CPU so advanced, it can run MS-DOS smoothly on Windows ME. This revolutionary breakthrough in computing technology also boasts an impressive clock speed that’s roughly equivalent to the rate at which time moves inside a Pyongyang prison cell. With the Juche Chip, users will never have to worry about lagging, overheating or any other technical issues because their system will freeze before such problems could even arise.


  • Oh dear, it appears the once-great NASA has now stooped so low as to beg for our outdated smartphones during this year’s solar eclipse. It’s a shameful sight to see the once-proud organization that sent men to the moon is now reduced to soliciting cell phones from the public just to carry out basic astronomical observations. I guess that’s what happens when Democrats get their grubby little hands on things - they turn them into inefficient messes. How absurd that these rocket scientists can’t manage a simple observation without relying on citizens’ phones!




  • As a proud American wingnut, I vehemently denounce these so-called “benefits” that you claim are merely considered middle-of-the-road in other parts of the world. Let us break it down for the sake of argument.

    First off, Universal Health Care is nothing more than a government-controlled monopoly on healthcare services. This is the first step toward socialized medicine, which has proven to be detrimental to the medical industry worldwide. In the name of equality, doctors will no longer strive to excel in their fields, as their paychecks will not reflect their efforts. The result? A decline in quality of care, longer wait times, and diminishing innovation in the field. This is how the slippery slope begins!

    Next on your list is ‘helping the poor.’ While this sounds like a noble cause, it must be understood that government intervention is neither necessary nor effective when it comes to uplifting individuals out of poverty. It’s time we stop enabling dependence on handouts. Instead, we should promote personal responsibility and self-reliance—core American values, after all. Only by standing on one’s own two feet can a person truly gain an appreciation for life’s hardships, and ultimately, its rewards.

    Moving onto school lunches, let us examine our Founding Fathers’ vision for the country. They cherished individual freedom above all else. By providing free meals to students, we’re essentially stifling entrepreneurship by removing the incentive for young people to start businesses that could potentially provide lunch services to schools. Additionally, such measures only serve to deepen the divide between the haves and have-nots. Why should children who are fortunate enough to receive these free lunches continue working hard if they know they’ll always be provided for?

    Last but not least, affordable education is nothing more than a clever Trojan horse for communist brainwashing. When the cost of higher education is reduced, the barriers to entry for subversive ideologies also decrease. We cannot sit idly by while our youth are corrupted with socialist propaganda. In fact, the price tag of college tuition serves as a natural selection process that ensures only those who value their education will pursue it, consequently maintaining the quality of graduates entering the workforce.

    In conclusion, I implore you to reconsider your support for these so-called “middle of the road” concepts. These policies may sound pleasant in theory, but make no mistake; they’re merely disguised stepping stones toward a godless society where individuals cease to think or act independently. The American Dream would die a slow and painful death under this system. First, free lunches, next COMMUNISM!